Magnus Confides in Tessa
by Shadowhunting Demigod
Summary: Magnus confides in Tessa as he struggles with his feelings for Alec. Can Tessa, the young warlock, help Magnus with his emotions? what secrets will become revealed? One-shot. Bitter-sweet.


Anticipation, dread, and nervousness made their way through Magnus as they mixed into a whole heap of overwhelming emotions. But dread burned the brightest. He had called Tessa Gray and asked her to meet him in central park at seven. He needed someone to talk to. Although Tessa was a young warlock compared to him, she was in his situation before. She too had fallen in love with a person she was destined to loose.

He remembered the first time he had met her in 1878 at one of De Quincy's questionable parties. He had never liked the vampire's parties, and had only attended for Camille's sake. They consisted of fooling, tricking, and torturing mundanes through the Pandemonium club. A secret society of downworlders and mundanes. Neither himself nor Camille were actually members of the controversial club, but Camille had known De Quincy for a long time. In fact, when Magnus first met Tessa, she was changed into Camille to spy on De Quincy. He remembered telling her that she was a warlock. "Now that you know the truth, you can never go back, " he had told her.

He had a soft spot for the warlock girl. Thrown into a world she never knew existed, one on the brink of war. Being the center of it all. Not to mention the love she felt for two mortal boys.

Both Will and Jem had loved her dearly. You could see it in the way they looked at her. How they always protected her. Will had been cruel to her, pushed her away, for fear a nonexistent curse would claim her life. A curse that would cause whoever loved him to die. Will had confided in him about his curse, asked him to help him. Once they found the curse was not real, Will went back to Tessa, only to find she had fallen in love with Jem, his parabatai. Jem and Tessa had gotten engaged, but it would never last. Jem would die while Tessa would not.

He was broken out of his revere when he saw Tessa coming down the path towards the bench he was sitting on. The moonlight reflected off her long, brown curls making them shine brightly in the dark of night. Her stormy gray eyes, turned silver in the soft light, reminded him a little of Jem's own, turned bright silver by the drug on which his life had depended on. She wore a deep blue dress like the color of the ocean at twilight, that reflected her upbringing in the nineteenth century, with it's ruffles on the bottom and white ribbon around her waist with the bow tied in the back. It was still modern enough, with its length just above her knees, and short sleeves. Her hair was partially tied back with a white ribbon that matched the one on her dress.

"Hello Magnus," she said. Her tone still held an English accent from her years spent in London, despite growing up and moving back to New York. She also still talked in a formal way, for a while, so did Magnus, but it faded with the years of an ever changing world, as would hers.

"Hi," he responded. The last time he had seen Tessa had been in Alicante after the battle with Valentine, and their meeting had been brief; limited to small talk and current problems, not pain and love and memories that would never fade with time.

She sat down next to him. "You called me here? What is going on? Are you alright?" There it was again; nervousness. He didn't want to ask her about Jem. He knew it would cause her pain and she would gain nothing from it. But he needed to know.

"How did you...I mean...how did you deal with Jem being mortal?" At first Tessa only looked shocked. She probably had not expected him to say that. The shock disappeared and was replaced by something deeper now: sorrow.

Tessa bit her lip. "Why do you need to know?" That's when he noticed, Tessa had never been the same since she lost Jem. Jem had accepted his death from a young age. Tessa did not. Could not. It was something you did for those you loved. Never gave up even when they had no faith themselves. He could see it in her eyes now. The sadness they held told the whole story within a silent moment. She smiled less than when he met her long ago. Come to think of it, Tessa had never dated anyone after Jem. He was who she loved the most.

"Because I'm in love with a mortal," he responded. There was no denying the truth anymore. He was in love with Alexander.

"I do not regret falling in love with Jem, if that is what you are asking me," she said to him.

"How did you deal with knowing he was going to die?"

"It is not something you deal with, Magnus," He could tell he icy tone was masking an ever deeper pain of loosing who she loved. "It is something that haunts you every day. The threat of death taking everyone you know. Every person you love until you are left with no one. People always think it's great to be immortal, but when you're staring eternity in the face, it really sucks. You never age, never die; time leave you the hell alone but takes everyone you love, everyone you care for with it. And you stand helpless on the sidelines asking constantly asking the question 'why?' as everyone else is taken from you. She looked away from him at the damp ground below them. She was trying not to cry he thought. And he couldn't blame her. Everything she said was true, not matter how terrible the truth was. Finally she broke the silence by getting up and saying, "I should go."

He watched her as she started to walk away, a question came to mind. "Did you ever love Will?" he asked. This question always came to mind when he thought of Tessa. He though of the picture he kept from 1878 from everyone at the London institute. Tessa, so perfectly placed between Jem and Will. Jem smiling, looking at Tessa, Will restless on the edge of the photo next to her. His figure had blurred because of his constant movement, but you could still tell it was him. His bright blue eyes shown black as his hair in the gray-toned picture. He knew Will loved Tessa, but she was engaged to Jem before she found out Will's feeling for her. Did she ever return them? What if...?

Tessa turned back to face Magnus. Judging by the look on her face, she was not expecting that question. Her expression change to grim. Her look almost made him regret asking. Almost. "I loved them both, and I lost them both," she replied. Then, changing the subject, she said, "If you are sure you are in love with this mortal, then fight for them. Be with them. Even if it is only for a little while. 'It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.' It was nice to see you Magnus." And with that she left him.

Magnus sat on the bench for only a few moments more, thinking about what she had said. _If you love them, fight for them._ The words kept ringing in his ears. _Be with them. Fight for them. Fight. Fight. Fight._

He quickly got up and left. Not wanting to waste another second.


End file.
